306: [HT Special] Epitome Anatomy: Pet Peeves - Load The Blender And Press Frappe
Mike Unson, Jo Mendoza & Wish Ronquillo Peacocke
SPECIAL EPISODE SUMMARY:
"If I were to choose a strange pet peeve, it would be people who over-explain things." - Mike.
Welcome to Human Thesaurus EPITOME ANATOMY. This time, we tackle a word or several keywords that affect our lives to shape, distort, attract, dispel, and meditate, among other facets of human emotions and observations.
In this episode, our keyword is PET PEEVES, a noun. According to vocabulary.com, a peeve is an annoyance, and a pet peeve is an annoyance that’s nurtured like a pet — it's something someone can never resist complaining about.
On this enlightening episode, we're joined by our returning guest, the incredibly funny Filipino comedian and writer Mike Unson, as well as one of my closest friends, digital content expert Jo Mendoza. Together, we navigate the fascinating world of pet peeves. Listen in as we delve into our personal peeves and discuss how they can affect our lives and interactions with others. From Mike's annoyance with bad driving to Jo's enlightening reflection on how pet peeves can reflect our personal standards and expectations, we shed light on the peculiarities that irk us.
We also tackle the challenging task of managing our annoyances, especially when faced with strangers. We share hilarious stories and discuss various coping mechanisms like practising patience, adopting a sense of humour, and embracing self-forgiveness. Tune in to hear Mike's amusing anecdote about a parking lot encounter and Jo's practical advice on self-regulation and detachment from triggers.
Listen to the Episode
MAIN TOPICS:
0:00:00 - Episode Intro
0:02:36 - Exploring Pet Peeves
0:11:27 - Managing Annoyance and Pet Peeves
0:25:00 - Parking Incident and Dealing With Annoyances
0:32:01 - Acceptance and Overcoming Annoyance
0:39:11 - Personal Pet Peeves and OCD Traits
0:53:49 - Culture, Attitudes, Personal Growth
1:04:21 - Handling Annoyance and Discussing Black Mirror
1:08:52 - Managing Annoyance and Finding Comedy
1:18:14 - Social Media
1:32:22 - Wish's wrap-up & outro
FEATURED WORDS:
PET PEEVES /ˈpet ˈpiv/ (n.): A peeve is an annoyance, and a pet peeve is an annoyance that’s nurtured like a pet — it's something someone can never resist complaining about.
Mike relates PET PEEVES to words: annoyance (n.), self-entitlement (n) patience (n.)
Jo relates PET PEEVES to words: empathise (v.), self-reflect (v) adapt(v.)
Essential words from this episode: compassion (n.), mindfulness (n.), leniency (n.)
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
QUOTABLE QUOTES
"The thing about pet peeves is like when are you going to keep it to yourself, or when are you going to call someone out, especially a stranger?"
"I think some can go quickly, others progress over time. It depends on how well or often you feed your pet peeve as to how long they live."
"I figured you get tired of being annoyed all the time."
"I invented this exercise where I imagine annoying people at work or annoying friends, annoying surplus friends, and I envision them, and I envision a giant blender in my house where I load each one of them in the giant blender and press frappe."
"The more you ignore things, the less logistics it takes to calm down."
"It stems from your attachment to certain expectations or that you impose, and it reveals the areas where I hold a strong attachment to how things should be because maybe my upbringing or past trauma or triggers or anything like that."
"Stop bothering with things that you more or less have no control over."
"You can't control other people, but you have to control your own behaviour and your responses, and it's really very hard."
"If you want to take the high road and say, I need to be the bigger person and practice more compassion, practice more empathy, then that takes a lot, but I think that's more sustainable, and that's better for you in the long run, because then you're able to live your life."
"I keep telling people that majority of humans are not supposed to be on social media." "Social media is a universal pet peeve."
"Peeves make lousy pets, they are difficult to care for, they eat a lot and they don't clean up after themselves" - Seth Godin.
REFERENCES FROM TODAY'S CONVERSATION
SOME FILIPINO PHRASES:
___
The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson
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0:00:07 - Wish
Welcome to Human Thesaurus Epitome Anatomy. This time we tackle a word or several keywords that affect our lives to shape, Distort, attract, dispel and meditate among other facets of human emotions and observations. In this episode, our keyword is Pet peeves. A noun. According to Vocabulary.com, a peeve is an annoyance and a pet peeve is an annoyance that's nurtured like a pet. It's something someone can never resist complaining about. Maybe it is.
I will have a light-hearted and, I suspect, sarcastic and laughable conversation about our pet peeves with my returning guest, the super affable and cheeky Filipino comedian and writer, Mike Unson and one of my dearest and closest friends, Jo Mendoza, and of course, my pet name for her is Manda, If in any case, you will be confused if I kind of interchange how I call her. She is a digital content, product and marketing expert and an ex-bratinella extraordinaire. We will lay out our usual pet peeves that we observe, experience and collectively agree or disagree about. It should be very interesting and probably funny. Just a disclaimer this episode represents individual experiences and personal views. If you find our conversation sensitive or opposed to your thoughts, please remember that we are all uniquely ourselves. Nothing is intended to personally attack or cancel anyone by expressing their own opinions on matters of life.
Before we do our pet peeves rant, first I'll give my guests a few words. My synonyms for Mike in relation to our keyword for today, pet peeves, are comic as a noun, observing as a verb and entertaining as an adjective. As for Jo, my synonyms for her in relation to our keyword, pet peeves, are wall as a noun, restraining as a verb and sarcastic as an adjective... Spicy! Let's explore the pet peeves epitome anatomy. Let's welcome Mike and Jo. Jo, you first.
0:02:36 - Jo
Hey everyone. This is Jo or Manda or whatever Wish wants to call me, but the keyword pet peeves relates to the words empathise, self-reflect and adapt for me.
0:02:51 - Wish
Mm-hmm. Mike.
0:02:53 - Mike
Hi, I'm Mike, and the words that I relate pet peeve with are annoyance, self-entitlement and patience.
0:03:09 - Wish
Wow, there's like. I'm actually quite surprised that there's more positivity in terms of words than...
0:03:23 - Mike
I'm trying this new thing where I'm trying to be kinder. Yeah, high five, high five yeah because, well, my good friends think I'm evil in a good way. But you know, ever since the pandemic, I decided I'm going to be kinder now, from now on.
0:03:36 - Wish
Wow, why, I don't know, you're growing up, Mike. Oh my God, no, don't grow up too fast.
0:03:49 - Mike
No, I'm just kinder, but still not that kind. Sorry, sorry.
0:03:59 - Wish
Even Jo, oh my God, Jo has grown so much. She's a mature woman now, because Were you surprised? Yes, no, not really. I see you grow, but it's just how you related. Your keywords are so positive. I was like boom, as if I was punched in the face with positivity there.
0:04:21 - Jo
Yeah, no, I have to thank you because it's a topic that's kind of hard to think about, because I have, like I was always thinking, oh, I think my pet peeve is just people in general, don't we all Right, and then I was like, oh, but it's not fair because I have so many. Then it's like it's really, how far can I take it? Yeah, because.
0:04:44 - Wish
So I was like, oh, I could bring it Mike again. And then I kind of like, have a good idea. And then I was like, Mike, Mike, Mike, what can I give Mike? And then it's like, oh, pet peeves. I message him. Oh, it should be about pet peeves. And then I was like, okay, let me think about who else I could pull into this conversation. And I was like, oh my God, Manda has to be here, Manda has to be here.
0:05:12 - Mike
Actually, to add to what Jo said about people pet peeve being people in general, sometimes when I'm bored I play this exercise in coffee shops where I try to find something annoying with everyone. I see I have this game, like if I moved someone, I tell them you know, everything is you know, it's all in the mind, like you can actually like people or not, so like, for example, you can find something you don't like with anyone, like you can be overly judgmental and all that, but you can also do the opposite and just find something like a bull, give them the benefit of the doubt, yada, yada, stuff like that.
0:05:58 - Wish
That's a good outlook, right? The thing about pet peeves is like when are you going to keep it to yourself, or when are you going to call someone out, especially a stranger? Yeah, exactly. Any opinions about that?
0:06:10 - Mike
Well, for example, if I may, one of my pet peeves major pet peeves bad driving. When I'm on the road, I try as much as possible. Well, I'm from the Philippines, which is a third-world country.
0:06:23 - Wish
Developing.
0:06:26 - Mike
Yeah, people's driving skills here are, you know, at tune with the third-world mindset or developing. So you know most people are. You know you're on the skyway. It says 80, speed limit 80. So I drive up to 80. Yeah, but then I see cars overtaking me and I'm like they're definitely not driving at 80 kilometres per hour if they were able to overtake me. So you just have to be patient, because I'm like, how do you call out this? People, what you want me to like write a long rant on Facebook which I'm too old for.
0:07:06 - Wish
Yeah.
0:07:06 - Mike
So, the thing now is I, you know I don't like bad driving, so I just try to drive better. You know, like somebody signals to the right, I give way, because here, when you signal to the right, I don't know, it's like a challenge for the next driver. No, I'm not going to give you the link. So, yeah, even my sister has the same mindset, like when we're together and say there are nights when I'm not as patient and she'd be like just let the guy through, because imagine that could be someone's little sister and maybe she doesn't drive as well. So just let them. And it's a good mindset, you know.
0:07:47 - Wish
Yeah.
0:07:48 - Mike
I hope they will pay it forward.
0:07:50 - Wish
Yeah, you would hope so, right? Yep, how about you, Jo? What's your biggest personal pet peeve?
0:07:57 - Jo
Oh, I have a lot, and I was going through my list today and then I was like oh. I have a list and then it just keeps going and going. You can I mean you can take apart any person right, Just by like nitpicking on little behaviours, but I think we have so many pet peeves. That's what I realised, so thank you Exactly this topic, but I think to Mike's point, the attaching and the letting go.
I think there's so many that we can have, and if you allow them to multiply they will. And then some of them. You know the word pet, right, I have a dog, so I nurture her through food, through attention. So the word pet in the pet peeve, the phrase pet peeve, I think some can go quickly, others progress over time. It depends on how well or often you feed your pet peeve as to how long they live, and I can like nitpick and create scenarios in my mind that really anger me or annoy me to no end. But I think, if I think about it, a pet peeve is actually a desire or thinking that if everybody did things the same way I did, the world would be a better place.
0:09:11 - Wish
So like if everybody measured up to my standards.
0:09:14 - Jo
I wouldn't have any pet peeves because they're all like me.
Then you know what would I do, right? So I think sometimes I was looking at my list and I was like, okay, some of them are really irrational, but they're valid to me and I want to protect them, like I protect my dog, but I justify some of them too much because I feel like, oh, everybody has to measure up to my standard, or because I'm like this, so I therefore want to impose this peeve on other people. So I think it really depends on what you can, what you attach yourself to and what you try to let go of it. I mean, it's easier said than done, but I think a lot of it just isn't worth my time actually.
0:09:53 - Mike
Yes, yes, yeah, plus I don't know. To add to that, I think one way people can stop I don't know, is that the right thing to say? Stop having pet peeves or manage your pet peeves is to simply accept that the world doesn't revolve around you.
0:10:12 - Wish
You're not the main character, yeah exactly.
0:10:17 - Mike
I try to see myself more of a well in connection to my job as a stand-up comedian. I've always done observational comedy, so now I'm just trying to be more of an observer and try to figure out why people are like that. For example, if you encounter a rude person, maybe he's having a bad day, or maybe he just comes, or he or she comes from a family of rude people. I don't know. But the fact is you don't live with them. As long as you're not seeing them on a regular basis. It's always better to just see them.
0:10:55 - Wish
Well, it's not just coming from strangers, right? I just listed here there are different factors. Yeah, there are different factors when it comes to pet peeves. There's like a you know, personal, there's cultural, there's work, there's self, there's super friggin mundane that you're like. Why? Why? What happened to me? What's my trauma? Why am I right? So what the hell happened with the both of you? How did you become very, very good people?
0:11:25 - Mike
I'm just pretending, I'm just trying to. You know, I figured you know you get tired of being annoyed all the time.
I guess, Like, for example, I have this cousin who's really annoying, and don't we all? In my family there are three of us and it's just my older brother who's married. So I'm single, my younger sister is single and this guy has like very bad people skills, I guess. For example, he would text my sister randomly and we're not really that close to begin with, so we don't like text on a regular basis, or maybe the few times we spoke on the phone is because of, you know, a death in the family. You know stuff like that.
So recently he texted my sister on a Saturday. Actually he was calling her at first and my sister was ignoring his call because, you know, she was telling me I have nothing, we have nothing to talk about, I'm not even. I don't even know why he's trying to call me, so he just ignores the call. So naturally the guy decides to text and goes are you home? So my sister's like no, I'm out, I'll be home late. Because, yeah, I was. We were on our way to Alabang, then I was going to drop my sister off somewhere to meet her friends, and then he replied something like oh, I guess you'll be hanging out with your single friends unless you have a boyfriend now. Oh sorry, sorry for mentioning the word boyfriend. What so? We just ended up laughing for like the next 10 minutes. We're like where the hell did that come from? What does he really want?
He didn't even you know like I was like telling it's like tell my sister you know if you had picked up the phone. What is this? Did he forget what he needed or something? Was he just bored? Is he having like a mental breakdown or something? But yeah, we just decided to ignore it and just have a good laugh and just accept the fact that some people are just inconsiderate or insensitive.
0:13:31 - Wish
Or really just socially awkward right. I think some people some people, I'm sure, especially the over-thinkers, who are also not, who are socially awkward. When they go home it's like what did I tell them? Oh my God did. I make a lot of myself, and then me and Manda was like what the fuck was that about? Blah, blah, blah, and then we're just going to be laughing about it, right, there's nothing serious. But that person could have been suffering the entire night, exactly Replaying what happened and what did they say?
0:14:06 - Jo
Yeah, I think people are so complex, right. I think we forget that sometimes we're just like oh, I reduced you to a pet peeve, but yeah, like a pet peeve of mine is like people who reply late.
0:14:20 - Mike
Yeah, exactly.
0:14:21 - Jo
Or ignore you totally. But then I thought about it. I do that a lot when I'm going through something and I always forget that other people go through things as well. I don't see them all the time in their environment, I don't know what's in their mind, but for me I hate it because it makes me feel so ignored and frustrated and then I can't detach the action from the person and I'm like I'm just going to take it out on that person or anything like that. But I think a friend of mine reminded me hey, people are really complex. It's sometimes you think it's about you, but it's actually about that person and then behaviour is the only thing that you can control. And it really eats at me when I face these kinds of people because I make it about me and I feel like, oh, it's me, Like they don't want to reply to me, they ignore me or whatever, and then I become passive, aggressive and wish you know that.
But then I do it. So I'm like I am so humbled by the fact that I remind myself. Oh yeah, actually people are complex. But then it's easier said than done. You asked earlier oh, how come you're so nice now? I'm actually not nice Inside, I'm seething and I can't wait to get revenge and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, what would I want to be done to me?
0:15:37 - Mike
I'll teach you a calming exercise that I invented myself.
0:15:41 - Wish
Yes, please. What was it? What is it?
0:15:43 - Mike
No, I have this new thing that I include in my stand-up routine. You know, some of my friends have noticed how much calmer I am these days and I tell them you see, I invented this exercise where I imagine annoying people at work or annoying friends, annoying surplus friends, and I envision them, and I envision a giant blender in my house where I load each one of them in the giant blender and press frappe, you know. And then sometimes I'll get into detail, like inviting them over.
0:16:23 - Jo
Oh my god.
0:16:25 - Mike
Drugging them, so I'll be able to put them in the giant blender.
0:16:31 - Wish
Wow, so violent, it's so cathartic.
0:16:36 - Mike
But seriously, a friend of mine, an older friend from years ago, one of my first-ever clients, mentioned that if you want to stop being annoyed with someone, imagine this guy sitting on your shoulders every time you think of them.
And imagine the ridiculousness of that picture. And he said you'll stop being annoyed once you. He would tell me so okay, you're annoyed with so and so. So now imagine this person sitting on your shoulders the whole day and you'll feel so ridiculous. You'll stop thinking of this person eventually. But the blender idea is much better than anything I like the blender idea.
0:17:21 - Wish
Yeah, it's yeah, Jo, I think you can kind of adapt that, because it's a little bit on the violent side and that's very cathartic, Because for me I'm less annoyed by a lot of things, only because I really just don't give a shit, Like I don't have the energy anymore. I think when I was younger I'm annoyed at every single thing. Nowadays it's just like okay, I'm annoyed, and then after five seconds, I'm done because I'm really just lazy enough not to dwell on them. I guess it comes with age.
0:18:01 - Mike
Right, I'll thank you. Age is just like an ingredient to it, I think, but it's really more on self-awareness.
0:18:13 - Wish
Or evolving mindset, probably.
0:18:17 - Mike
Yeah, yeah, I like that. I'm going to use that evolving mindset, yeah, my evolving mindset, or the statement that I remember in Coming to America. It's a bad example of this movie Coming to America.
0:18:30 - Wish
Yeah.
0:18:31 - Mike
Where the character of James Earl Jones, the wife, was telling he's like a king right or something.
0:18:40 - Wish
Yeah, he's a king yeah.
0:18:42 - Mike
The queen said something like apologise to the man, Mr McDowell, because the king offended Mr McDowell and the queen was sensitive enough to tell James Earl Jones's character apologise to the guy. And James Earl Jones's character said something like I refuse to. The man is beneath me, yeah. So imagine that when you're like, when you really can't take it anymore, just imagine that, whatever pet peeve it is, that's annoying you. Just imagine it is beneath me. I will not be annoyed, I will not let it conquer my being.
0:19:18 - Wish
Yeah. But then again, it's nice to be also truthful to yourself, because there are some things Like one of my top biggest pet peeves that I can never, ever let go is BO around me. Like BO, like anything biological that's attached to a person. I can't let it go. So what do I do to manage that? I can't tell someone from the MRT, from the train, to say, why didn't you put deodorant today? You can't, right. So what I do is just like I alight. It's like, okay, fuck this, I will be late, but it doesn't matter, I need to save my nose. So I just walk away. If I could go to another train or I could switch places, I just do that.
But when you're on the plane, I just have also. I mean, you can control what you can control, you can control everybody, right. So it's like, okay, some people are farty, especially long-haul flights. So what I do is I have my little air mist, right. So you just have to manage that. But I will never, ever get past BO. How about the both of you? What is something that you can never, ever get past?
0:20:44 - Mike
No, sorry, I this is too crazy. Such a crazy coincidence. Right Before you mentioned BO, you see, I bought a bottle of perfume last Sunday as a treat to myself. I'm getting brats Because you know it's a scent that reminds me of 15 years ago, because recently something happened to me and 15 years ago is something significant. So I saw this bottle at the store Sit Cool Water. That's the other bottle Poison, but this one is clinic happy.
0:21:20 - Wish
Oh my gosh, I love that. I love the happy part.
0:21:23 - Mike
So right before you said BO, I don't know instinctively grabbed my bottle from my desk and started just spraying it because I love the smell, and then he goes.
0:21:33 - Wish
My pet peeve is BO and like, oops, I could see you, Mike, I could see you. Oh my God meeting up from the minds.
0:21:44 - Mike
Yeah, but you know, off-topic, recently the number 31 has been following me around.
0:21:50 - Wish
And apparently.
0:21:50 - Mike
It's apparently in numerology.
0:21:52 - Wish
It's a good sign 31 is a good sign.
0:21:56 - Mike
Yeah.
0:21:56 - Wish
Or a number following you around.
0:21:58 - Mike
No 31 is a good sign, and the fact that 31 is following you around is also an even better sign.
0:22:07 - Wish
Jo, why haven't any numbers follow us around? I don't know why. Is it just Mike?
0:22:12 - Jo
Yeah, it's about to ask.
0:22:15 - Wish
I need six numbers. No, I need six numbers to win.
0:22:19 - Jo
To win the lottery.
0:22:20 - Mike
I was just a judge at the lottery recently. Apparently, you can work as a judge at the lottery draw when.
0:22:30 - Wish
I say judge. It's like what are you judging at the lottery?
0:22:33 - Mike
No, no, you see, the lottery is under the PCSO, right.
0:22:38 - Wish
Yeah.
0:22:40 - Mike
So when they do the draw, majority of the people during the draw are all PCSO people, so they need a certain amount of outsiders to make sure that nothing weird is going on.
0:22:55 - Wish
So no cheating.
0:22:56 - Mike
Yeah, so, like for that particular day, one of my several tasks was to make sure that the number spoken by the host is the same that came out from the machine and then, inspecting the machine, that these are the numbers or something like that. So it's a fun activity, the perfect avenue for people-watching.
0:23:22 - Wish
For you to develop a new pet peeve, yeah.
0:23:27 - Mike
Yeah, exactly.
0:23:28 - Wish
So, Mike, you have 31. Now Jo needs five more numbers.
0:23:33 - Mike
I'm 95,. Yes, yeah, wait. Is Jo based in Manila, or are you in Singapore?
0:23:41 - Jo
I'm in Singapore too.
0:23:43 - Mike
Oh, okay so same as Wish, yes, yes, so no bad drivers.
0:23:48 - Jo
But I still need six numbers. So yeah it's the same over here.
0:23:54 - Wish
Mike, there are bad drivers here, trust. I mean, anywhere you go in the world there will be bad drivers. It's just kind of different.
0:24:02 - Mike
But I'm reckoning you don't ride a car as much right? Unless you drive in Singapore, do you?
0:24:07 - Wish
No, we don't. It's so convenient to commute.
0:24:11 - Mike
Yeah, right, right. It's the sign of progress.
0:24:18 - Wish
Yes exactly.
0:24:18 - Mike
I just read it somewhere.
0:24:20 - Wish
But speaking of bad drivers, so when they're, for example, when they take Uber or Grab, right, so anywhere in the world and then the driver, I would side with my driver because it's like, oh my gosh, you know stupid driver, right. And then I would just say, especially sometimes, like I'm in a good mood, it's like I'm in a force field of good mood you cannot enter right. So when that happens and then the driver is just so fired up, I was like, don't worry, just think about it. Probably the guy is in the rush because he needs to poop.
0:24:55 - Mike
No, I have a stupid car story that happened to me over the weekend. So I'm going to ask you guys to visualise this. So you see a car that's parked at a slot. So tell me what's about to happen. A guy in his car comes out and checks, goes around the car and then enters the car again, moves forward, but his car door is open because as he's backing up, it's like making sure that he's aligned with the line, with the dividing line. So tell me, Jo and Wish, like that was me, what was I up to?
0:25:37 - Wish
Your parking.
0:25:39 - Mike
Yes, exactly. And apparently the guy who stopped actually thought I was about to leave. So he gave me this stupid look. When I finally parked, you know, went through the motions, got out of the car, locked the door, opened my umbrella because it was sunny, he gave me this stupid smirk. You know the what the heck look. And I gave him the what the heck look back.
But when I finally met with my friend, I'm like there's this stupid guy at the parking who was telling my sister too, and my sister was like maybe he thought that because the guy had this wife and kid in the car. So my sister told me that maybe he thought that you were, you know, going to give him the slot Because he saw that he had his family with him. And I'm like I'm not that nice, but imagine if you were like I actually like for a few seconds I was like I had half a mind to actually go to his window and like just tell him are you stupid? Something like that. But I'm like no, it's not worth it and I'm just put the guy in the blender.
Yeah, so I just put the guy in the blender.
0:27:00 - Jo
That's a good exercise. I'm going to try that.
0:27:03 - Wish
Yeah, but you know, Jo, one of the things that I love about you is that when, when something annoys you that's why I put restraining as a verb, because you're more restrained nowadays, but because I know you, I could see it in your face and for me that's more amusing than anything, because you're like your face and then because we're still transparent in some ways, or you know, women can kind of read the tiniest micro face expression of micro aggressions.
0:27:39 - Jo
Yeah.
0:27:39 - Wish
Right.
0:27:40 - Jo
Yes, all the signs.
0:27:42 - Wish
So that's the plus thing about like knowing how to use all of your face muscles for your strength, but still expressing your annoyance.
0:27:53 - Jo
Yeah, yeah, it's a good skill, right. But no, I think it depends on the level of annoyance, on how I can restrain myself, like my partner always tells me, oh my God, like this again, like I'm like so vocal about the littlest thing for him and then I'm like, no, it's a big thing for me. But I think, if I dwell on it so much, I think I've been dwelling on one thing that I really can't mention on there, but like it's super annoying. It's just label it as rude people pet peeve. I think I know this, okay.
0:28:28 - Wish
Yeah.
0:28:28 - Jo
Right. And then I'm like All the people in the blender that Mike has. I dwelled on it so much that I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm not taking care of my own well-being and not managing my stress and I completely. It was like self-destruct mode for me, Like I kept going on and on about it, Like it's so annoying, you know, and just dwelling on the negative side of it. I wasn't planning on understanding this kind of person anymore and I just literally had given up and said, oh, you know, I think I'm just going to brand this kind of person as this for life and I really didn't want to open my mind on anything. But I think I really did not focus on what I could control, and the only thing I can control in this at this point is me. Yeah, I can't really see my reaction, my emotion, but it's so hard sometimes, Like I can't change other people. But a friend of mine always reminded me hey, the only thing that you can change is your response to that behaviour. But I'm like you know what.
It's easier said than done. Yeah, sometimes you really just want to kill people.
0:29:33 - Wish
You know it's like yeah, it's like put them all in the blender.
0:29:41 - Mike
Put them in the blender. Put them in the blender.
0:29:43 - Jo
Why do I have to be the bigger person? Why do I have to be the person pressing? You know?
0:29:49 - Mike
Just imagine, the more you ignore things, the less logistics it takes to calm down. Yeah, that is like, for example, if you guys have read that Mark Manson book. No, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F.
0:30:06 - Wish
No, I have a better book than that. So, yes, my entire life.
0:30:11 - Mike
I read it, but it's. It's kind of amusing. But one of the examples that he used I'm not sure if it's from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F or everything is F-
Wish
You can say it he mentioned.
Mike
No, that's something. That's a new thing with me. I'm thinking there are kids in the audience, so I don't.
0:30:30 - Wish
There are no kids in the audience. I will put explicit in here.
0:30:35 - Mike
But no seriously, he used two rock stars. An example Rockstar A and Rockstar B who used to be bandmates, and then they kicked out Rockstar B because he didn't fit in. So Rockstar B was like I'm going to form my own band. I'm going to be famous too. Blah, blah, blah.
0:30:53 - Wish
EEEEnggg Rivermaya?!
0:30:56 - Mike
No, no, no, no, no. Foreign, foreign band.
0:30:57 - Jo
Okay.
0:31:00 - Mike
Apparently the guy, the guy ends up forming his band and ends up becoming like a legend in rock metal or whatever that John raised. And then Manson's next statement was unfortunately the band. So this guy becomes successful, blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, the band he left, the band that kicked him out was Metallica. So this guy, who formed his own band and became Rockstar himself, apparently spent the rest of his life dwelling on the fact that he was kicked out by and how this, how Metallica is a lot more successful than his band. His band is Megadeath by the way, I love both of them.
So so. So Manson is saying that this guy could just very well be happy with his successes, but the fact that he keeps comparing, like when he's being interviewed he keeps going back to oh they kicked me out, blah, blah, blah, something like that.
0:32:01 - Wish
I think there's another factor here with in alignment with the rock stars and also with you, Jo, I think another factor when it comes to the annoyance there, I think it's acceptance. So it's not being accepting of you know, that pet peeve, it's really more of accepting that. Okay, this is how I really feel about this. I may not be able to get past it, but I will live my life just with it, like okay, and then don't fight against it, and then eventually it will just dissolve over time, like sometimes it just needs time. So you just need it to accept sometimes, because I think the friction there is, you battling your own feelings about it so all the more that it gets magnified and then it gets bigger and bigger and the likes of Jo geniuses tends to overthink you. You are consumed by overthinking.
0:32:59 - Jo
Yeah.
0:33:01 - Wish
Yeah.
0:33:01 - Jo
Yeah, no, no, no, no, I was talking to my therapist about that and she's like you know, sometimes there's a mouse and it's just a mouse and you like blow it up into something else. Like you know, it stems from your attachment to certain expectations or that you impose, right, you know, and it reveals the areas where I hold a strong attachment to how things should be, because maybe my upbringing or past trauma or triggers or anything like that. Right, but you're right, if you recognise it, although recognising I think it's easy, a lot easier for me now like to acknowledge, to acknowledge it, and it enables me to like evaluate it. It was just valid. You know how valid is it and how is it serving me positively or causing me unnecessary frustration?
But then I think doing something about it is the harder part of it. Like it's either I loosen my grip on this pet peeve or I find other ways to care for myself that maybe it's triggering a past trauma. You know why is it like that? And then allowing you like looking at your, you know what's your past like, why does it trigger you so much? What are you expecting out of it, I guess?
And then if you I think you just mentioned, like you know, accepting it, letting it go or actually doing something about it, but being more flexible and open-minded about it, I think, and just looking at other options, like I think right now I'm trying to practice. I highlight, I over-intellectualize, like you said, I overthink, and then I kind of think too much about the negative aspect, like somebody tells me something good and bad in a sentence. I only focus on the bad sometimes, like that. So instead now I'm trying this thing where I'm going to focus on the good part of what you said and so hopefully the good becomes better, or, like you know, instead of me focusing on the negative and then it just doesn't bode well for me, I guess.
0:35:00 - Wish
Yeah, and don't be too hard on yourself, right? I mean, you know, sometimes when you talk to me about the serious stuff and then at some point we're just going to be laughing because it's funny, sometimes, like in hindsight, it's like, oh my gosh, that was kind of stupid, and then it's, you know, it gives some lightness.
0:35:20 - Mike
That's always funny in the end.
0:35:22 - Jo
Yeah, I need tips from Mike on how to make a comedy out of my life.
0:35:28 - Wish
I thought you need Mike's advice on how to build a big blender.
0:35:34 - Mike
Which blender to get.
0:35:35 - Jo
yeah, oh yeah, as a comedian, Mike, do you feel like I don't know? You try to see the good in every situation, or are you like Not for me?
0:35:51 - Mike
No, but you know what, going back to that number 31 following me around, it's a long story. I won't focus on that, but I was kind of feeling shitty the past few months. I celebrated my 20th year in stand-up back in Feb. Thank you, I was feeling kind of shitty at one point. You know, when you start overthinking, you're like there'll be nights when you're like I should have done this instead. Why did I accept this gig in 2014? I shouldn't have made friends with so-and-so. So I'm like feeling really bad.
And then I, for one second, I actually thought maybe I should just retire already from stand-up. But then I bumped into this random person and then she recognised me and then she goes. Oh, you know what? You don't know me, but I watched your video back in 2020 during the lockdown, when I had COVID and was feeling really bad about myself and you made me feel good. You're able to make me feel good during that low point in my life. So thanks, and I'm like fuck that, yeah, like I am just a comedian here, a police people, yeah, but yeah, it was pretty cool. So you know, and then occasionally, if you just focus, like you try your best to focus on the positive, you'll find all these reasons to just keep doing what you're doing without getting annoyed anymore. I guess it's like kind of the mindset I want to have these days.
0:37:31 - Wish
Yeah, and there's some sort of self-forgiveness first. Okay for us to be annoyed about things because, again, we're all uniquely ourselves. I'm still OCD, I still get annoyed and very judgmental at times, but you probably have.
0:37:52 - Mike
You probably just have OCD traits and not the disorders.
0:37:56 - Wish
I do. Yes, I do have the OCD traits, but it's worse. When I was in my 20s it was really really bad. But over time, as time goes by, you kind of accept and then it's there and you just forgive yourself. And then it's just really over time that you kind of slow down and then little by little it chips away and then at some point you set yourself free, because not every single issue or annoyance in your life will go away now. Some of them will take 20 years. Some of them, like letting go of some people in my life took me almost forever, but I never even thought that I would be able to do that. Or there are some annoyances in my life before and it surprises me how much it bothers me less nowadays.
0:38:54 - Mike
Sorry, before I forget, you should have an OCD episode. Just say it.
0:38:59 - Wish
Oh, my God.
0:39:00 - Mike
It's such a fascinating topic.
0:39:02 - Wish
That will be hard. You know what's going to happen if you trigger my entire OCD tendencies. The show's not going to end.
0:39:11 - Mike
No, you know what you said, that it was bad during your 20s, right? Yes, you know, I had a face where, especially when the camera phones came out, you see, I'm the type of person who you know. I'll leave my room. I'll go downstairs, right, because my room is on the top of the third floor of the house, so I go down and then I suddenly go. Did I leave the lights on?
0:39:35 - Wish
Oh God, yeah, I go back check.
0:39:38 - Mike
It came to a point where I would actually take photographs of my room just to prove to myself that I turned off the lights. And then years ago, in 2006, I think 2006, 2007, I was working for I worked as an ESL teacher at a Korean language thingy and I would park at the mall near the school because that was the available parking. And one morning I came in too early and the parking lot was empty and it triggered my OCD traits. I ended up roaming the parking lot for like 13 minutes looking for the perfect spot.
0:40:20 - Wish
Oh my gosh.
0:40:22 - Mike
If I park here now, it's easy, but later on, when it gets filled up, I'm going to have to turn here.
I'm going to waste time, so I should park at this road because this is near the exit. So I ended up being late for work and when I was, while walking to the school, the secretary of the school was calling me up and she was like, oh, your student is already here. Then when I got there, I had to explain to her. I'm sorry, this is the stupidest thing. I was actually here at 7.30. Wow yeah, but again, it's an overthinking thing. OCD traits is mainly well, it's a problem. Some people actually take medication for it, but it can also be considered a pet peeve, I guess, like if you have too many pet peeves, it triggers your compulsion, right?
0:41:18 - Wish
So compulsion. So that's yeah. Okay, then let's go around. What's your self like pet peeve about yourself? Just one, I'm sure we all have like 20 or something, Just the main one. I'll go first.
0:41:34 - Mike
Okay.
0:41:35 - Wish
My biggest pet peeve of myself is that I hate cross-contamination. Like it ticks me off, okay, like when I touch this one, I need to wash my hands first before I touch that one, and it just fires me up. It fires me up Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. So, for example, I've got a face towel and I've got a hand towel. If I use, if I wash my hands, I have to use the hand towel. And if it's missing, my husband took it and then there's only the face towel. I get so triggered it's like what the fuck?
0:42:12 - Mike
Actually, I think I'm going to copy your answer. You know what?
0:42:15 - Wish
Hmm.
0:42:16 - Mike
When you know, when COVID struck, you know people started carrying atomisers with alcohol, alcogel, whatever. So I was like I would tell my friends.
0:42:30 - Jo
Yeah, she brings two liter bottle no I'm just kidding.
0:42:33 - Mike
No, I would tell my friends that you know what I all my life, I've been, my entire life, was in preparation of COVID, because you know when, back in college I was known as the alcogel guy, you know I had.
0:42:47 - Wish
The Bench Alcogel.
0:42:49 - Mike
Yeah, because it was a cheaper alternative to the. There was a more expensive version, I don't know.
Bath and Body or something that my mother-in-law was using and I remember the first time she lent it to me I'm like what is this amazing product? And then she's like, oh so that was a gift but it's kind of pricey. And yeah, it was too pricey. And then one time I was at Bench this is I'm not trying to promote Bench or anything, but it is a good company. So when I saw alcogel I'm like my gosh, this is a cheaper alternative to my cousin's superior hand gel. So I've been carrying alcogel and alcohol since the late, since the mid-90s.
0:43:37 - Wish
I think we're all prepared as Filipinos. That's why, during the pandemic I was explaining to, I lived in Australia, so every single Australian that could listen to me I would say, ah, we're cool, Filipinos are so prepared, like we're so well prepared for this. We always have like kind of alcogel in our bags the entire time and we have wet wipes and we have tissues, we sanitise everything.
0:44:06 - Mike
It's another thing I always carry in my backpack the wet wipes, the one in the cylinder.
0:44:13 - Wish
Wow that big one Super prepared.
0:44:17 - Mike
And as a kid I would make my mom buy me Lysol. Like as this odd kid, I had a little bag with some toys and Lysol.
0:44:27 - Wish
Wow.
0:44:29 - Mike
I like disinfecting stuff.
0:44:33 - Wish
Your mom should be proud of you.
0:44:36 - Mike
Yeah, so do you guys still wear your masks in public?
0:44:40 - Jo
Sometimes yeah, but it's not required. Is it still required? Not required anymore?
0:44:45 - Mike
No, not anymore. I put it on when it's crowded, like I just got. I've gotten used to wearing it in crowded places, so I just do that.
0:44:54 - Wish
No, you know why I wear it BO in public.
0:44:59 - Jo
Yeah, it really helps. No.
0:45:00 - Wish
Yes, remember Jo, whenever we go out, when we go to the bathroom, we just put our masks on. Correct, yeah, so yeah, it's all about that now for me. I wear it because if I anticipate BO.
0:45:14 - Mike
Yeah, my friend actually made me a leather mask, but it's not that comfortable to use.
0:45:20 - Wish
I had a leather mask.
0:45:21 - Mike
I still have to put the filter.
0:45:23 - Wish
Yeah.
0:45:24 - Mike
But it's pretty cool though. But you know it's kind of inconvenient. But if you're going for the weird aesthetic, it's very silence of the lamps.
0:45:32 - Jo
Yeah, exactly, I love it.
0:45:35 - Wish
It's so, it's so well, Clarisse. Hello, Clarisse, I'm gonna put you in my blender. Wait, wait, wait. I because okay, Mike, you and I got the self pet peeve. How about?
0:45:50 - Jo
you, Jo, my own pet peeve for myself.
0:45:54 - Wish
For yourself. Yes, just one.
0:45:56 - Jo
You mentioned. I mentioned this several times. You mentioned it. I think it's overthinking. Yes, like, oh my God, like it's still. I work in progress.
0:46:05 - Wish
You're your own enemy most of the time. Correct.
0:46:09 - Jo
I really have to get out of my own head sometimes, yeah.
0:46:13 - Wish
But don't be too hard on yourself too. That's yeah, you overthink, and then you beat yourself up, and then the cycle goes on, and oh my God, true true, true, yeah, but you know, overthinking makes for good comedy material.
0:46:28 - Mike
I know I should be a comedian Like I have this there's this, there's this, like I'm sure you've heard this in the movies or you've heard your Filipino friends. You know, sometimes you'll hear someone in their anger they'll say stupid things like "Papatayin ko yan, eh!" or "Babarilin ko yan eh!" Like I'll shoot them.
0:46:48 - Wish
Oh, my God, I love that "babarilin ko yan eh".
0:46:51 - Mike
Yeah, so what time I'm doing my set, and I use that term and I'm like. You know, people who say things like "babarilin ko can eh" have no idea how difficult it is to obtain a gun. So first, so do you buy it? So do you buy it legally? So that means you'll have to fill up all these forms and these clearances. So by the time you get a gun, you're like oh, there's so much responsibility if I shoot someone, it's going to ruin my life, right? Or do you buy one illegally? Which is an even bigger problem, that's the fact that if you shoot someone, someone's bound to see you. So now you'll be in hiding. But if you decide to just poison them, that would be the more prudent approach.
0:47:37 - Wish
And then you're going to overthink about poisoning too. Put them in the blender.
0:47:41 - Mike
Just put them in the blender.
0:47:44 - Jo
One size fits all, oh yeah.
0:47:47 - Wish
You can also. So, for I think the blender thing works for Mike. I think we need to step up yours. So you have a blender, you blender someone and then you pour them in the cement. You have a cement mixer pour it there with the cement and then put it as a concrete on the road.
0:48:08 - Jo
Wow, you guys are so smart.
0:48:09 - Wish
So there's a step up.
0:48:12 - Mike
I think they did that in. I'm not sure if it's Designated Survivor, but one of those weird series that involve espionage. They like mixed a guy with cement. I forgot which one. I think it's Designated Survivor. I have to check. That's so morbid wish.
0:48:32 - Wish
Thank you very much.
0:48:33
It is very morbid no wonder we're friends.
0:48:34 - Mike
It's a compliment though.
0:48:39 - Wish
Mike, wait, you know that you say the diba yung (like that) "babarilin ko can eh", you know there are so many of that. The one that I like in telenovela, when it's like a little bit that there's going to be fight, like Robin Padilla or whatever like that in the 90s: "papatulan ko yan eh... papatulan ko na talaga yan!" How do you say "patol" in English?
0:48:59 - Mike
There you go.
0:49:04 - Wish
What's "patol"?
0:49:05 - Mike
I don't think there's a literal reason. Patol is like the essence. I think the closest would be if you say, if you say "papatulan ko na can eh", probably the nearest would be.
0:49:16 - Wish
You're going to stoop down to their level.
0:49:18 - Mike
Don't start with me or something Don't make me do something. There's this expression Don't make me do this story. The actual expression escapes me at the moment, but something like that.
0:49:35 - Wish
But the essence is different. No, I mean, when you change the language and then there's no direct translation, the essence is gone. Yeah, okay. So the next thing when it comes to pet peeve, let's go around again, because it's really a very interesting topic. So let's go to cultural, since the three of us are Filipinos. So I think, culturally, I was talking to my best friend about a certain incident with her recently and we were talking about some of the toxic Filipino traits. That's really like makes my it makes my eye roll 360 degrees, exorcism type of a thing. One of my biggest pet peeves culturally, I mean, again, I love being a Filipino, but we all have this we're not perfect Although, yeah, Filipinos are not perfect. But yeah, culturally, I think one of the biggest pet peeve that I really really have and a lot of Filipinos are always like this is perpetual victimhood. Oh woe is me! Pity me! Oh, my gosh, everybody's against me.
0:50:53 - Jo
Agreed.
0:50:55 - Wish
Oh my gosh.
0:50:55 - Jo
Yeah, because they're all in there starring in their own telenovela.
0:50:58 - Mike
Yes, or owing. What's this? The I don't know what the English equivalent to "utang na loob" - owing people.
0:51:06 - Jo
Yeah.
0:51:06 - Mike
I think it's more. I don't think Americans or Westerners or other cultures have it the same way. You know, take it as seriously as we do. Yeah, owing people. But yeah, I've heard it in some movies where they're like, oh, this guy owes me a favor, I'm going to cash in. Yeah, and it's different with like, for example. You would hear I always tell this to the more comedians who know I train some from time to time and I constantly remind them that you don't owe anyone. Well, of course you do in essence, but to actually dwell on it later on because it could have been someone else. Yeah, you know, if someone tells you, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be successful, blah, blah, blah but, you can always just do our answer back and it could have been someone else.
If you're good, you're good, you always find a way to succeed. But it's also good to I don't know to have the minimum amount of gratitude.
0:52:12 - Wish
But gratitude is different than if you give something and you're expecting something back. Right, right.
0:52:17 - Mike
And especially if it's not you know it's not something this person is willing to give. For example, you owe me. You have to kill this guy.
0:52:24 - Jo
What.
0:52:27 - Wish
You owe me that. Anything, any other thing culturally that you've noticed, like growing up or now, that's a toxic cultural pet peeve that you have, or what you observe in our culture. It's just really interesting because I'm sure there will be someone in a different kind of culture who would say, oh, I could kind of relate, it's kind of the same with us, or something like that.
0:52:55 - Jo
I can go For me like it's the "pwede na" mentality which is I think relate, I think, a little bit related to what you mentioned Wish, but for me it's like oh, we always do that when we're like we don't have to try so hard because you know it is what it is.
0:53:14 - Wish
That can pass.
0:53:16 - Jo
You know, yeah, this is okay. Why don't we strive for something more? Why do we always have to just say, oh, "pwede na", and when I don't know road, "pwede na" or something like that, they don't finish it. It's just like three-quarters of the road, that's done, and you're like "pwede na". But don't you appreciate the good things about the road? No, I don't. Why don't you finish it?
0:53:39 - Mike
I think it boils down to laziness at some point.
0:53:43 - Wish
The Juan Tamad.
0:53:45 - Jo
Yeah, Juan Tamad no.
0:53:49 - Mike
I just remember this stupid scenario when I was working in theatre. I worked in theatre for a while and on one particular play, we had this I don't know what you call it I think it's a crane or something where someone can stand up and you press a button.
0:54:08 - Wish
It's a rigging, it's a type of a rigging or rig or something.
0:54:11 - Mike
So, anyway, we had that backstage and all you had to do was plug it and it's going to work. Then one time I saw a bunch of our crew members I think five of them. So the four guys lifted the slot where the person stands up, lifted it up manually and then, because they were too lazy to plug the thing, what? So, yeah, so we had an Australian boss, and this Australian walked by them and goes where are you clowns up to? And they said something like ah, sir, the plug is too far, or something. I can't remember the expression on his face. He had this what the heck face. I was thinking I could plug it for you guys and you ask me. But no, they're like Can we do that? Can we do?
0:55:07 - Jo
that it's like a can, it's a can do attitude, but it's not actually in the. I was so afraid because my sister told me oh, we have a new tourism slogan, there's a new official brand from the country.
0:55:19 - Wish
What's our new tourism slogan? What?
0:55:22 - Jo
What's the new no the one that she told me wasn't the slogan. Yet they had a new official brand launch for the Philippines, and this was back, I think, early this year or something like that. And then she said, oh, it's we give the world our best. And I said, oh, I'm so sorry, but like our best, that scares me so much. It's like it's we give the world our best. No exactly we're like. I don't know.
0:55:49 - Wish
I beg to differ, though we do. We do when we're overseas.
0:55:54 - Jo
I told you about this.
0:55:55 - Wish
We do give the world our best when we're overseas, because why?
0:56:00 - Mike
It's the export thing.
0:56:02 - Wish
Yeah, it's the export thing. But when we're home, do we give our best. We don't prove no, we just say behind that point in the end, that's just right, that's fine.
0:56:13 - Mike
That's what I like about the Japanese. They have products that are what do they call it? Domestic market, meaning they save the better ones for themselves right, the best ones rather.
0:56:23 - Wish
Yeah.
0:56:24 - Mike
Isn't that the problem when you think about it? Wow these guys. They're like the superior race, I swear.
0:56:29 - Wish
Yeah.
0:56:31 - Mike
They, you know they're ahead of their time. And I'm not surprised they invented all these robot shows, because they probably have one already. I don't know, but imagine that mindset, that, oh, we're going to save the best for ourselves.
0:56:47 - Jo
Yeah.
0:56:48 - Mike
Versus. Let's save the best for export and just accept the shitty stuff back home.
0:56:55 - Jo
Yeah, I think it's like rooted in their culture that they're proud to be Japanese, Like we, if we don't have money or we don't have power, we're just not very proud sometimes to be Filipino, Because we're like, oh, I'm just going to be this. Especially, I think, the less fortunate they're, just like oh, this is what I'm given and I'll work with it, which is good. Right, they're resilient and they're. But I think it's all about like, how can I achieve more? I don't have to, because this is what's given to me. So it's like I'm just grateful to be here and I don't need to go to the next level. But when we do go overseas, it's like, oh, I'm the breadwinner, I'm the. Then I have like a little bit more pride. Right, I'm, I'm representing my country overseas. So that's a bigger thing, Like I. And then the love for country comes in and all those things. I think really we just have to encourage love for country, you know, love for fellow men, and that's like I think we should just hire somebody to brainwash the entire Philippines.
0:57:58 - Wish
Like, I don't know, like you know, it's just so we're going to hire a Westerner to brainwash the Philippines to better themselves and and they?
0:58:10 - Jo
they can like positive motivational speeches every day in the morning on TV, I think exactly affirming yourself right and not pitting yourself and not, I think, looking down on your other people, is just that we do that a lot.
0:58:28 - Wish
Looking down on other people. It's really toxic, Like you pit your kids against each other and this is inter-family.
0:58:36 - Mike
That is so unhealthy, that is so unhealthy. Yeah, the constant comparisons that's another pet peeve. I forgot about that. See, that's how more calm I am, calmer I am these days. I actually forgot about the pet peeve of suffering from comparison when people go oh, why is this person? Listen that blah, blah, blah. That's why I love that guy from American Beauty, the Lester Burnham, I think, is the name of Kevin Spacey's character. There's like a scene where he applies at a burger joint.
0:59:09 - Wish
Yeah.
0:59:10 - Mike
And the manager was like when she saw him in his suit, she's like oh, this is only for I think, only for cashier. There are no managerial positions open and he goes. Good, I'm looking for the least amount of responsibility, yeah.
0:59:32 - Wish
But that's the thing about that character, though. He doesn't need to prove himself anymore Like he's bored, he's done it all.
0:59:41 - Mike
Yeah.
0:59:42 - Wish
So that's a different position altogether. But yeah, I mean, there are lots in our culture that's lovable and at the same time there are lots that really deeply affected us culturally as a whole as a diaspora. Like it does affect us really greatly. And then you can see that a little bit more prominent now because a lot of Filipinos, especially overseas or even at home, you know they make fun of it on TikTok. So it becomes more prominent and it's a good topic of conversation. But will anything change?
So this is part of the pet peeve where there's an acceptance, like at least for me, it's like okay, it's not a "pwede na can" or "bahala na", it's, it's for me. It's like okay, if that's their choice, that's their choice, it's not of my business, I can't control it and I'm just going to focus on the people that I could help, you know, because there are really another pet peeve this is now bordering on not just personal but more on work is about passiveness of people, like there's no drive, someone who's just content, just there, and you're pushing them towards their greatness because you can see something in them, but they're not helping themselves. And I just can only do so much in a team and I've experienced a lot of it. Jo, you know we work together. You've. You've seen me like try to make everybody grow, try to make everybody better. You know, especially they're young and some of them just don't have the drive. It's like I really I'm happy here.
1:01:22 - Jo
Yeah, they just want to stay. Yeah, stay where they are. But I think, yeah, you're right, you can't force people to see. I think the value in what you that you're seeing takes time. And I think, yeah, being a good example to other people so that you can help them, I think it's a better way of, like, I guess, accepting and coping rather than forcing other people to go a certain route. You can only do so much. I think, like, just give them that and let them do it themselves. I guess it's part of the growth process.
1:01:59 - Wish
Yeah, it is, it is, but before it really riles me up like how come this person? And then I also at some point realised, like what you're saying earlier, that some of the things like okay, it's not me considering myself as a main character, but it's really more of why sometimes I heard myself once say to someone, why can't everybody just live up to my standards? And then I stopped. It's like oh, oh God, oh God, we're boring, bordering that way. And then that's a wake-up call for me. But that's also self-awareness at some point, or maturity, if you may, to recognise that okay, yes, not the main character. Wish, let it go.
1:02:50 - Jo
Yeah, yeah, compassion, right, because you need that more and more in this world. Compassion for ourselves, compassion for other people, just so we can understand each other more, and then, you know, free will. I guess is just letting them live their own lives.
1:03:08 - Wish
Not necessarily too much free will seeing what's happening.
1:03:11 - Jo
Yeah, I guess I mean, if only we could put them all in the blender.
1:03:14 - Mike
but you know, yeah we can have that thing, the Adjustment Bureau guys, if you remember that, that movie.
1:03:23 - Wish
What is it? Adjustment Bureau.
1:03:25 - Mike
Oh, you've never. You've never watched Adjustment Bureau.
1:03:29 - Wish
No, what is that?
1:03:33 - Mike
No, in this strange movie there's this like secret bunch called the Adjustment Bureau, and the premise is that nobody has free will, that your life has been designed for you and the moment you go off track of it, the guys from the Adjustment Bureau will adjust it for you, right? So like the main character there I think it was Matt Damon he fell in love with somebody it's not supposed to fall in love with because it was going to hinder his path to greatness. So the adjustment bureau guys had to show up and tell him that if you pursue this path, this story arc, bad things will happen. So like the girl got injured, stuff like that. But eventually he decides to just ah, fuck it, I'm gonna decide to do it anyway.
1:04:21 - Wish
Imagine if the three of us will be the Adjustment Bureau.
1:04:26 - Jo
Yeah, we could just go in and rewrite everyone's stories.
1:04:31 - Wish
Debug debug this person. Debug Delete this person. Take off this pixel and change that one.
1:04:41 - Jo
Yeah, the world. But then the world would be everybody like. Everybody would have their own version of the world, Like I don't know when that will Imagine. Oh it's, it's wishes turned to delete everybody, and then everybody becomes wishes. I don't, I don't, yeah.
1:05:01 - Wish
Oh my God, that will be a very good episode of Black Mirror.
1:05:04 - Jo
Yeah, exactly. Oh my God, Did you guys watch the latest?
1:05:08 - Wish
No, not yet. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. No spoilers.
1:05:12 - Mike
Oh my God, I've only seen the paparazzi episode. No, no, no spoilers. There's actually a Twilight Zone episode where they have a library. I think the title was The Library of life for some.
1:05:30 - Wish
Is it this season fourth, is it fifth? Now, what is it? Six, now Six.
1:05:36 - Mike
No, no, no, I'm talking about the original Twilight Zone.
1:05:39 - Jo
Ah, Twilight Zone.
1:05:40 - Mike
Not the sixties, the eighties, the eighties.
1:05:42 - Wish
Twilight Zone oh, love, okay, okay.
1:05:45 - Mike
Yeah, so there's an episode where the lead character finds a library, she finds the, finds a book and the title is her name, wow. And then she, she browses through it and it's exactly what's been going on with her. She's able to see things and then she starts. She starts editing certain portions and that's when things get messed up. The librarian had to fix stuff and the library eventually disappears.
1:06:19 - Wish
Oh my gosh.
1:06:20 - Mike
Yeah, but yeah, she like started editing parts of her life.
1:06:24 - Jo
Yeah, and then she gets attached, because then there will be spoilers.
1:06:28 - Wish
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
1:06:30 - Jo
I'm very, very related to that. So yeah.
1:06:34 - Mike
Adjustment Bureau. You should watch Black Mirror later. Yes, it's going to be my treat to be a good person.
1:06:41 - Jo
I'm yeah, I'm watching the latest on this. That's good.
1:06:43 - Wish
Yeah, ones, because at the moment I've been really, really like anxious. I don't know, it's just hormonal, I think. I'm just very, very anxious recently. So I have to set aside Black Mirror because that's gonna really just pump me up and not being able to sleep. So, yeah, it's just again self-awareness, like what can you take at the time when you're having a situation you don't want to add to it? So where do you put so with a long of all of these pet peeves? So my mindset and it's mostly subconscious now say okay, where are you going to place yourself right now? You want peace, right, because you, you want the path to least resistance. So, yeah, it's, it's, it's that it's now. But it took me what 15 years to get here. It's still not perfect and sometimes I just allow myself to just go on and on and on and on.
1:07:47 - Jo
Once I rant about it.
1:07:49 - Wish
I'm done. It's like okay, done, mic drop done. You know I've expressed all of my annoyances.
1:07:55 - Jo
Yeah.
1:07:57 - Wish
So yeah, but let's go around again. I just wanted to ask, looking back and up to the present, how do you handle annoyance now versus before?
1:08:10 - Mike
Well, I guess I deal with it the same way. I deal with the only people in shows, like I do a lot of shows, and sometimes there'll be people in the audience or just not into what you're doing, and they start talking and all that. So I just ignore them. So same thing with annoying things. You know, sometimes you let it affect you, but these days, if they're, if reacting to it does nothing for you, I just don't, because it's it's less stressful that way and you just, you know, stop bothering with things that you more or less have no control over.
1:08:49 - Wish
Yeah, and you know one to add to that, Mike. I think I've only done one satirical theatre before with Willie Nepomuceno, the great Willie Nepomuceno, so I was an understudy, but that character didn't make it. So I have to step in, and it's my first time to do comedy.
1:09:11 - Jo
And it's really hard.
1:09:12 - Wish
But the and then I was. I was scared, but the only thing he told me is you can control your script, because we're allowed to do a little bit of an ad lib. It's like, don't wait for anyone to laugh at your jokes, just keep on going. Whether they laugh or not, it doesn't matter, just focus on your script ad lib, have fun with it, because that's comedy. Let them, you know if they react, or or the next, you know next, and then probably you change your script or whatever, whatever, but never, ever wait for anyone to laugh. So that was a good trick. And then the entire show was just like I made people laugh and I was just shocked. And then, yeah, I. That was a very good, very good advice. And it's also a good analogy when it comes to people pleasing or whatever. Like, don't wait for anyone to. They call that to give you some feedback, you know, especially when it comes to the live shows or whatever, whatever.
1:10:15 - Mike
So yeah, it's it's really good.
1:10:18 - Wish
Jo, what can you add when it comes to yeah, how do you handle annoyance Now versus before, or moving forward? Actually, for you like moving forward, what do you think you picked up from from our conversation that you, that you, may find quite useful?
1:10:35 - Jo
Yeah, I think it's. It's the letting go part, not attaching yourself too much to anything you know, taking it all in stride, I think. And then self-awareness, most especially, and then after self-awareness, I think I would add to that ability to self-regulate.
Again, you can't control other people, but you have to control your own behaviour, and your responses and it's really very hard, right, and I was telling my partner, like I really can't do it sometimes alone, so I have to seek support, like if it's talking to somebody or just communicating about it. Because, really, like, if it stems from a lot, like a number of like traumas or triggers or anything like that, then it can be very heavy and you're sometimes tempted to like, oh, you sometimes have a little progress today, but for you it's not enough. And then you're like, maybe it's easier to just go back to like who I was before and just let it annoy me, because that's an easier reaction, right. Like, if I'm annoyed, then I'm annoyed, right, then I know how to control that emotion. Like I just let myself go. But then the bigger.
If you want to take the high road and say, oh, you know, I need to be the bigger person and practice more compassion, practice more empathy, then that takes a lot, but I think that's more sustainable and that can be a better you know that's better for you in the long run, because then you're able to, you know, live your life. I think don't let things consume you. Like that's what I'm trying to do, is like I'm trying, not very hard, not to let things consume me and just, you know, really, because you lose track of the present, I think, because you have a tendency to, oh, I'm just gonna focus on this, and then I create extraordinary scenarios in my head about the future and about the past, and then I end up like just not living life. So I think, yeah, those things that I would try to remember, but yeah, and just remembering that everybody is complex and everybody needs a little bit more encouragement, like Mike you were saying earlier, like oh, I'm just a comedian. But then there's this person who came up to me.
And I think that's very important like people who get sent to you to remind you that you know, I need to encourage you today because you know, you can be that person for anybody as well.
1:12:52 - Mike
And that's. That's a great point about forgetting the present. That sounds like something from Star Wars, worrying about the future at the expense of the now. Right, yeah, that's an. That's an excellent point.
1:13:05 - Jo
Yeah.
1:13:07 - Wish
Yeah, I mean it's just, a lot of people are FOMO anyway, and I think most of us sometimes could get that fever of a FOMO. So instead of just fearing that, why not just live right now and see what's around you and just enjoy your day? So this is really, I think, for everyone. It's a hard practice sometimes when you say oh, I'm always cheerful because when I wake up I just choose. I look in the mirror and say you're beautiful, you're going to have a good day, and I don't choose violence today, Like it's hard, but but being aware that, okay, not today, devil, or you know, I'm going to take this today. I'm a little bit annoyed, but, man, this coffee is good, yeah, yeah.
1:14:00 - Mike
Right, right, yeah, exactly Because she sounded like that girl from the Little Lulu show.
1:14:06 - Wish
What's that? I don't even know how I could I'm not really good with impersonating Mike you are. I mean, this is, this is your profession.
1:14:15 - Jo
So cute Little Lulu.
1:14:17 - Mike
Yeah, the little Wish us little.
1:14:23 - Wish
If that's going to give me money, I'm in. For the, for VO, I'm in. Okay, let's, let's go around, just let's have some fun. Like, don't overanalyse all of these. There are two funny pet peeves I think that we can kind of tackle. But it's just going to be in quick succession. So first one think about one of your strangest pet peeve. I'll go first just to fire you up. Mine is like I don't like when I'm outside and there's a stranger and then their hair touches my skin.
For example, when you're on a commute and then someone just like Pantene their, their long hair, and then it's swaying, and then it swings, and then it touches my shoulder, my bare shoulder. Oh my God, my reaction. Like I can't control my reaction, I would immediately rub my, my shoulder and then, if I have an alcohol gel, I would just like wipe it, Like I can't take a stranger's hair touching my body at all. But if I know you, it's fine.
1:15:38 - Mike
It wouldn't be a stranger's hair, yeah.
1:15:43 - Wish
How about you? That's an.
1:15:44 - Mike
O, that's an OC thing about the hair, but I get angry, I really get angry.
1:15:50 - Wish
Yeah, actually yeah it's not me freaking out, because it's like germs, germs.
1:15:56 - Mike
Yeah, right, right.
1:15:56 - Wish
It's not the germs. Germs, it's just like who are you? Why is your hair in my skin? No EW gross like that. But it's not about the germs.
1:16:06 - Mike
If I were to choose a strange pet peeve, it would be people who over-explain things. Like, for example, I would invite friends from time to time, right, I'd go, I have a gig on Saturday, on Saturday, you want to watch me? And they'd be like I'm actually just looking for a yes, no answer, right. But then they'd say things like oh, I can't on Saturday because you know, I'm based in Subic now and my kid just started school, so it's a school night, so I can't go, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like I would. This is a close friend, this is an actual person who told me that and I'm like it's okay, you don't need to justify why you're not. I understand, I'm not going to be upset or stupid excuses, you know? Yeah, I think in line with that are the stupid excuses like oh, I can't go, it's raining, okay, I was going to go, but it started raining, okay.
1:17:14 - Wish
Yeah.
1:17:15 - Mike
Your car doesn't have a roof.
1:17:18 - Wish
But don't you think, oh, that's, that's another part. I said it's going to be quick, but that's that's one of those things as well, because I'm trying to get a property in Manila and sometimes you just need to ask the seller one question, for example oh, is your title clean? And then they're like, yeah, they won't say yes or no, they're gonna skirt around it, around and around, and then they think they're satisfied with their answer and then I would answer back. I just need to know if it's a yes or a no. Oh, yeah, yeah.
1:17:53 - Mike
Actually the title is with the owner because I have the tax declaration Because when he sold it to me it's part of a bigger property.
1:18:06 - Wish
It's like you have it right now, it's like it's just a yes or no. Really Okay. Next Jo, strangest pet peeve.
1:18:18 - Jo
Mine isn't really strange. I don't know if you've heard me mention this, but it's. It just annoys me to know when somebody posts on their own social media and you are like I don't know posing in a bikini or something like that, and your freaking caption is like oh, a Bible verse? No, like, no way looking forward to the future. People do that, yes, and then I'm like yeah, they do that all the time bikini with a Bible verse yeah, whatever, yeah, I've seen that.
1:18:49 - Mike
That's actually a running joke I have with one of my model friends. I was like teasing her one time. Okay, you have, majority of your posts are beach and bikini pics, but then you have some something.
1:19:05 - Jo
Is this you know how some people just pick for attention and I'm like, no, no, dude, don't use that excuse like pick picture for attention, only that you see their cabinet. I'm like no, you don't know what you want me to focus on, I don't care.
1:19:22 - Mike
So social media in general is annoying. Yeah yeah, I keep telling people that majority of humans are not supposed to be on social media.
1:19:31 - Wish
Yes.
1:19:32 - Mike
Yes, maybe 90% of the population shouldn't be on social media yes. Because it's a magnifier. It is. It's a, you know. It gives platforms to stupid people.
1:19:47 - Wish
Mm, hmm, like you don't need to have a voice, yeah some people just don't don't deserve their voice.
1:19:55 - Mike
Sorry for saying I don't know if it may sound elitist or whatever but some people aren't just meant to be listened to. Yeah, like recently, you know, certain issues people don't understand. Like you know, people don't even read the. You know, people usually react before reading the whole story. Yes, so they end up with an incomplete reaction or an invalid reaction. Yeah, and they're like, oh, and then they realise, oh shit, it's on the article. Oh, he mentioned it. Oh, father's like ah, like I have a voice for the stupid comments. And then they realise I said sorry, man.
1:20:43 - Wish
Oh, that's another excuse for Filipino. Sorry, I'm only human. I'm only human, he's like. What an excuse.
1:20:54 - Mike
You're not human, you are an inferior human. You're all human. It's just that you're an inferior human.
1:21:03 - Jo
I think they should just cut social media from the Philippines.
1:21:08 - Wish
Oh hell no. That that entire place is going to panic. It's going to cause a civil arrest or something.
1:21:17 - Jo
Seriously.
1:21:20 - Mike
I imagine all the idiots who have to be negative on a daily basis. I didn't make someone feel bad today. I feel so incomplete.
1:21:31 - Jo
Yeah, my goodness, we have so much time to do that.
1:21:34 - Mike
Yeah, because it's, it's the new smoking Like. You see people on the sidewalks at night, shirtless seated on the pavement texting or going through. The same people who were like drinking or smoking are now on social media, so imagine the level of competence their responses would have.
1:21:58 - Wish
Yep, yep, and not even the one who are posting right. There's just a new incident among well, it's about my friend just ranting with me. So she posted a very loving it's really genuinely loving Instagram story and then someone saw it and it triggered them because it's the ex and then attacked attacked my friend with a lot of messages like oh, how dare you? You just don't understand what I've been through with my ex. It's like how can you do this? You betrayed the family, those kind of things, and it's a loving post and for me, I said if anyone gets triggered by anything they see on social media, they should unfollow one. I mean, this is the. This is a very subtle one. Just unfollow that account.
Yeah right, that's the subtle or the nuclear is just don't be on social media, Really no actually speaking of.
1:23:12 - Mike
I think this will make sense to you. Sometimes I meet people after a show and they'll say things like oh, I love your set or I love your act. It's not like those annoying shows in Quezon Avenue. They have insult theatre and even in the beginning, the start of my career, I would simply tell them oh, there's nothing wrong with other shows, it's just that you're not their market. So it's not annoying, you just don't like it, don't watch it. There, like, if you don't like something, don't watch it, don't read it. I remember years ago somebody wrote a comment on one of my posts on my page like, for example oh, so-and-so is so much better than you, or something like that. So I wrote this guy.
I said you know what you should do Go to that guy's page and tell this person how much you enjoy their act, instead of coming to mine and telling me that this person you like is better than you, unless you're really trying to be annoying or something, and normally they don't even have a response to decent conversation.
1:24:31 - Jo
Yeah, Because people get so affected really by social media.
1:24:38 - Mike
Sorry, Josephene, I just remembered. You see, Wish got me for this app years ago. Bubbly. And then, yeah, bubbly, and eventually you know how stupid people are they'll click on whatever. So they end up accidentally subscribing to my content and losing credit phone credits and instead of going to their customer service, they would actually go to my fan page and attack me. And I'm like at one time I was actually explaining to this person oh, I'm sorry, I'm just a content creator. I have nothing to do with the monetization, blah, blah, blah. But if you have a problem, you can email this email. I'm like I'm gonna do it. And one time I just I don't know, I went psycho. I'm like I'm talking. I replied in Filipino, I'm talking to a guy, don't be a fool. Then I said email this guy, tell him you're concerned and he'll try to reimburse you. They've done it before. Blah, blah, blah. Stop bothering me in there. And then no response.
1:25:56 - Wish
Yeah, people get affected too much. It's toxic, right, and I don't know. So, yeah, I think social media is our pet peeve. It's a collective, universal pet peeve. Oh, I love that Social media is a universal pet peeve.
1:26:12 - Mike
I don't think so. I think it is. Yeah, you can say that, but on the other side of this spectrum, it's just a tool and, like most tools, you can use it the right way and the wrong way, and if you use it the wrong way, that's when trouble arises. So, just being mindful, being more responsible I guess I think Josephine mentioned that earlier if you're more self-aware, more compassionate there, I think people on any platform whatsoever should practice more compassion. Yes, they'll make better use of whatever platforms they're in, whether it be Facebook, IG, Twitter, whatever.
1:26:58 - Jo
Yes, just be a decent human being.
1:27:02 - Mike
Right, there you go, a decent human being.
1:27:04 - Wish
Or don't be a dick.
Jo
Don't be a dick. We can't say bad words because Mike's trying that thing.
1:27:14 - Wish
This is my podcast. I will. You know, I think this is season three. I've been trying to be nice and then this season three. So far they're all marked as explicit. Okay, In closing, what are the three major words that you picked up from our conversation and our keyword Pet peeves, Jo?
1:27:36 - Jo
Oh, my gosh One is like compassion yeah.
1:27:41 - Mike
That's my word.
1:27:42 - Jo
Oh, it's okay, we can like.
Wish
Yes, you can share.
Jo
Go for it. Share the word Okay. Share the word and then, acceptance. And then I think the last one would be I think growth is something that I picked up. Yeah, Mike.
1:28:02 - Mike
Yeah, Same with Jo. Compassion, of course, Compassion, self-awareness, which is part of compassion, and what else? Yeah, because yeah, it all boils down to you know, isn't there like a saying one step backward, two steps forward, something like that?
1:28:25 - Wish
Two steps forward, one step backward. What is that?
1:28:31 - Mike
No one step backwards, two steps forward there.
1:28:35 - Jo
One step backwards. Okay, wait, wait, let me do it.
1:28:40 - Wish
Thanks Google, again, not sponsored. I just named three brands and I'm not sponsored.
1:28:48 - Mike
There one step forward, two steps back. Wait a minute, there you go. One step backwards. Two steps forward there you go. You make progress, but then experience events that cost you to be further behind than you were. Okay, now, never mind, I found the wrong definition, bottom line. Yeah, I'll just go back to patience. Be patient, it's happening, okay.
1:29:16 - Wish
For me it's perspective, mindset and acceptance. Oh my gosh, this is wonderful. Thank you so much, Jo. Thank you so much, Mike. It's so wonderful. My heart is full right now. You're making a Epitome Anatomy special. It's very, very good. This is such a great conversation.
1:29:40 - Jo
Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us
Mike
Of course.
1:29:54 - Wish
Some surprisingly important words relating to pet peeves are compassion, mindfulness and leniency. As our guest, Mike, said: "Just imagine, the more you ignore things, the less logistics it takes to calm down". End quote. Well, Jo said: "There are so many pet peeves that we can have and if you allow them to multiply, it will". End quote. To apply a quote from an American author and former dot com executive, Seth Godin: "Peeves make lousy pets, they are difficult to care for, they eat a lot and they don't clean up after themselves". End quote.
This episode astonished me in a very different way because it evolved into more of the gentle side of life rather than the savagery of all of our annoyance and comeuppance in life. I think it goes to show what people I surround myself with, people who have, who are not perfect at all, but I find them perfectly beautiful, in my view, because they are able to keep on evolving, accepting their mistakes, accepting difficulties in their lives and trying to turn it around. It just goes to show all of us that these things that annoy us, that make us angry or make us really to the point of thinking of bad things towards other people, it's just a human part of us and we can manage it in terms of how we choose the path that we're going to take. It's all about that mindfulness, all of that love and care for humanity. We have a choice, as always, so take care, and I hope you find your solace in finding the right way to divert your annoyance into something more positive.
I hope you love eavesdropping here. You should start thinking about your synonyms. What are they? Perhaps you can share them with me through emailing your audio or message about you, even via my social media. Thank you for listening to Human Thesaurus. Join me again next week for another episode. I'm your host, Wish Ronquillo Peacocke. Have a fantastic day, and thanks for listening.
Transcribed by https://podium.page
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