Epitome Anatomy: GODPARENT
EPISODE SUMMARY:
"Being a godparent means stepping in as an alternative co-parent, guiding and supporting a child through life's journey."
Wish reviews the multifaceted role of godparents across cultures, their historical roots, and personal reflections on mentorship, community, and morality. This episode offers deep insights into how the concept of godparenting evolves from religious traditions to modern societal roles.
Erratum: [At the 12:21 mark] Wish stated that the Philippines has an almost 90% Roman Catholic population; the figure is 78.8%, according to the Philippine Statistics Authority in 2020.
Reference from this episode:
Godparent-related movies quoted: Life As We Know It, The Godfather, Cinderella (1950)
Listen to the Episode
MAIN TOPICS:
00:00 The Journey of Understanding Godparenthood
02:47 Cultural Perspectives on Godparenting
06:08 The Evolution of the Godparent Role
09:05 Reflections on Personal Experiences as a Godparent
11:47 The Seriousness of Being a Godparent
15:03 Building Relationships with Godchildren
17:56 The Impact of Distance and Time
20:49 The Joy of Being a Godparent
23:57 Concluding Thoughts on Godparenthood
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Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (00:00.076)
I have a long journey to understand the concept of being a godparent. This was something that I embody at the moment and trying it in practice because it suddenly hit me what this really means in the grand scheme of things. Beyond religion, but more about community and morality and whatever you believe in inside you. I'll talk about this convoluted role in this modern world we live in.
and its relevance to my encounter as part of adulting per se. Welcome to Human Thesaurus Presents Epitome Anatomy My name is Wish, a retired tech operator, indie author, cat mom, and a self-aware life explorer.
Epitome Anatomy is an opinion piece on the power of words and their ethos that I extracted from this life. Ready for the epitome of Godparent? Let's go! Our keyword is Godparent According to Dictionary.com, a Godparent is a person who has pledged to help with a child's upbringing
especially in a religious capacity. In some denominations of Christianity, when a child is baptised, they are sponsored by usually two adults who pledge to help in this way. Those adults are the child's godparents and the child is their godchild. Godparents are often related to their godchildren. An aunt might be her nephew's godmother, for example.
but they don't need to be Godparents also often pledge to become the Godchild's guardian if needed in the event that the child's parents die These terms are sometimes applied outside a religious context Parents may choose close relatives or friends to act as godparents for their children without any religious aspect to their relationship
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (02:20.812)
A godparent can still refer to their godchild with that term after the child becomes an adult. The etymology of godparent, with two words conjoined god and parent, was originated from Old English godfæder and godmodor dating back to the late 12th century when it was first used.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (02:47.81)
That was a long description for the word God parent because I think it needs to be said in its context that I would like to talk about. I just realized how much culture and how much of it makes sense to me nowadays in terms of an act, not just the description itself. At the moment, I'm reading more about
different religion or different denominations, not even religion, it's just culture of godparents. I was reading through Christianity and the practices from before. It's very interesting, you know, the origins from the second century AD when infant baptism has begun to be a practice among Christian until now in modern times.
Being a co-parent or being a support for the child, leading them towards the right path. Either some beliefs that mentorship or guidance is through the word of their God or it's guiding the child when the parents perish or something like that. So it's very interesting that in any denomination that I'm reading, they're all quite similar. And some of them are
kind of activated if you may because of the circumcision rights to that particular religion. This spiritual kinship happens as well in some areas of the world where the godparents is not just about the baptism or it's not just about the celebration of an infant. It's also being used like
where I grew up in the Philippines, you also have a list of godparents via marriage. And apparently it's not just in the Philippines. Also, there are some parts like in Portugal and France and Spain to have the wedding party with the godparents called padrino or padrinho and madrina or madrina.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (05:09.198)
It's very interesting and there are also in some literature and folklore as well when you hear fairy godmother. We never think about it but at the back of our heads, at least speaking for myself, it's quite the same assignment. So it's the same concept of being a godparent. There are also like non-Christian traditions when it comes to being a godparent in
China and some fictions and some from the Balkans and from Judaism and also it's the Santeria film from Cuba. The biggest theme here of being a godparent, whatever you understand it and whatever however I understand it is the same. It's having this, I'm gonna say it's super plainly, super a little bit dumbed down that the god
parents are your alternative co-parents that whatever happened to your parents you have these people to help you and take care of you and guide you as a child and as an adult you would hope that your godparent are still part of your life being your mentor just being another uncle and aunt something like that so in my head at some point I
I kind of merged the treatment of godparents as auntie and uncle, biologically or not. But the role is quite like that, if you may. So yeah, it's quite interesting. I'm just looking at Wikipedia. I will put this in my show notes. It's very interesting to read and I'm sure you can read this beyond Wikipedia. I don't really expect
to have topics like this in an AI. I like reading references. So Wikipedia is also interesting in that way because I could find the sources and I could read further and it has more references. So you can read further what each topic, each statement that's being mentioned, you can trace it back to somewhere.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (07:36.96)
Sometimes AI hallucinates and they mix and match patterns without really as humans understanding some of the justifications or some of the explanations beyond a topic. But again, I digress. So going back to this research, I am going through this because it fascinates me how I'm evolving as a person.
and that aligns with how I'm godparenting my godchildren. I will focus on a few godchildren if you may. It's just interesting to me how I'm taking the role and how it constructs the relationship that I have with a child.
or these children. It has to do with how my understanding of this role evolved throughout time. So I will give you a background. In the Philippines where I grew up, the concept of being Ninong or Ninang, that's the Tagalog term for Godfather and Godmother. So being a godparent in the Philippines, I thought, is a money-making scheme.
And I think it is. I am being harsh here, but that's the loud undertone of how I grew up. My impression of how it's being explained to me by actions of the adults around me. My observation growing up is that when someone's born and then the adults arrange for the baptism,
and then they choose the godparents. And be as it may, it may be harsh to hear but this, I'm sure this just doesn't happen in my hometown. But when they choose the godparents, most likely they try to get the well-off people or
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (09:56.066)
Sometimes it's a given, it's your brother, it's their brother, it's their sister. The uncles and aunts, they would include who are close to them. So if you can see the modern ones, they would only have one godmother and one godfather. That's not the case in the Philippines. Sometimes in a small town, you will get 10 godmothers and 10 godfathers. And in a wedding, there will be
15 to 20 godmothers and 15 to 20 godfathers. It's crazy that way, but I thought it's just really part of the culture. The big conclusion that I've picked up growing up is that they choose these people who are more affluent, who have more money. I'm just going to be very crass and straightforward here and be very frank because I needed to be honest how I saw it growing up.
It's quite brutal in a way, but everybody means well. Probably they wanted people who are well-off so that they're able to provide for the child whatever happens to the parents, but that's not how I saw it growing up. What I saw was they wanted all of these affluent, well-to-do people, even though they're not close to them, to become the child's godparents is because godparents are there for
birthdays and most especially Christmas. They're able to give gifts. And for Christmas time, it's a culture in the Philippines that you go from house to house in your neighbourhood and also to your all of your relatives houses and visit them for Christmas and they give you money as a child, not just gifts, money. So during that time, you're able to kind of earn money as a child.
because that's the gift from the money means blessing to other people. Again, this is my childhood understanding of these things. So being a godparent at that time has something to do always with some financial means that you're able to provide that money for Christmas or for birthdays for that child. It kind of undermines the
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (12:15.916)
the catechism part of it. know, Philippines is what, almost 90 % Roman Catholics. So at the end of the day, it's connected to baptism and it's connected to spiritualism. You know, as a Catholic school girl, the explanation in school during religion classes is that you have got
parents because they're able to provide you some guidance spiritually that you're not going to stray away from God and Jesus Christ and you're able to be guided spiritually throughout the course of your life. But you don't really absorb that as a child. You absorb it more of the superficial fact that you know around you. Also, when I became a teenager, because I'm part of my big
Ronquillo family in town were always you will just hear your neighbor from five ten streets away that your parents knew named you as a godparent for their new child and you're like who are they it's like it's your mom's friend and they named you as one of the godparent and i was like i didn't attend the baptism and then they're like
They sign it for you by proxy and you're like, huh? So that was the first time I actually learned about the word proxy because of baptisms, because of being a godparent. In my understanding, it's all about the money. so they listed me so that I could provide for the child during Christmas. You know, as a teenager, I started becoming a godparent to the children that I never knew.
And probably they're all adults now as well. yeah, they never knew me either. And some of them, they put you in because you're close to them. You're a cousin, you're a neighbour, you know, your childhood neighbour who you grew up with. you know, there's more affiliation. There's more friendship or relationship affiliation. That's why you're included. And also there's politics in there.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (14:35.34)
So if you're in a big family or in a big town and you're close to everybody, it's politicised that if I choose Auntie A and Auntie B, I should also include Auntie C to become a godparent because Auntie C won't be happy if I don't invite her to become a godparent. There's a politics factor like that. So I don't know if I'm explaining it to you. I am also just like blurting it all out.
I really wanted to get it off my head how strange and beautiful and on probably this journey for me up to I'm gonna share with you my conclusions later. So that's how it was in my culture at least where I grew up in the Philippines. I know it should be spiritual but it became a money making scheme for most people. That's my impression when I became an adult.
I started traveling and I started having friends from different nationalities, religion, beliefs, different walks of life. It just gave me a new perspective about being a godparent. I just learned most, especially in the Western world, religious or non-religious, they would just choose one godmom and one godfather. And that's it. And then you understood more of the responsibility of
being a godparent, which is the true meaning, being the guide, being the mentor chosen by the parents to take care of the interest of a child in the child's personal development and upbringing and offer mentorship to be there, to be the backup plan when the parents perish in one way or another that you are able to take on that role for them. It gave me a
a different perspective that it's a very serious responsibility to take. And in mass media, there are a couple of movies that I remember. One movie is entitled Life As We Know It. I think it came out around 15, 16 years ago. So it's really a quintessential description of the goddaughter's parents died and their friends were godmother and godfather.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (17:00.706)
their lives changed because they have to take care of their friend's daughter who are their goddaughter. And another one of course is the godfather. And I'm sure a lot of you would know that. And what else? yeah, Cinderella. There's a lot of that that shows more of the well-defined description of what a godparent should be.
Seeing the life as we know it is an awakening for me. Understanding the role of being a godparent more and more each day that I live. All the more that I travel, all the more that I meet people, all the more that I'm beginning to have a clarity about the role of being a godparent. It's a huge undertaking. Nowadays, when I'm being asked to become a godparent to a child, it's quite a serious thing.
because you need to be ready to take on another life. Not necessarily live with you, you would like to make an impact. You would like to be helpful, being chosen to that role. Your role and your presence with your Godchild still all depends on your relationship with the parents of the child. It's all about the connection, right?
The parents are very very important to the children and you step in depending on your relationship. Some parents would choose the god parents for their children and sometimes our friendships don't last or they change over time or distance or you know there are so many factors that plays around the relationship that will determine how
close you can be to your God child. What's your access to that child? It's through their parents. Unless something happened to the parents, then it's really a must that you take on a role. Apart from, of course, the grandparents, the relatives, you would like to be there or it's part of your role when the calling comes. You just kind of activate that.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (19:24.91)
part of your commitment to that child. It really, really depends, I think, how you take on this role because the parents would always take the lead at the end of the day. They are the parents and you're there to support them. You're there to support the child, but you're also there to support the parents. So there are different levels. At the end of the day, it's all about connectiveness and relationships and the harmonious loyalties of being
there for your loved ones. It's that morality that we all have and that we uphold in our lives. At present, for me, I have different levels of relationship with my godchildren because of number one is my access to them and number two is the relationship that I have with their parents and number three it's really
the time and the distance and the different factors in the faces of our lives. I would like to think I'm doing my best the best way I know how. Again, depending on the level of access that I have with the children on how I wanted to become a responsible mentor for my God children. know, some of them I only see once a year or even lesser. My access is not that open.
because everybody's lives are busy, their parents are busy, etc. But I just bank on the hope that they remember those memories, they remember the quality time that we spend when we can spend it. There's this one particular one that I am quite very, very responsible for because she's my best friend's child. We're always far away from each other.
They're from the States. I'm now in London and I think we're very close and we're very drawn to each other because of the relationship that I have with the mom, which is Anne. Hi, Anne. Thank you for your support. Being a godmother to, I'm going to name her, being a godmother to Elle is a joy of my life.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (21:43.01)
Because I feel like being responsible for Elle because of my access to her, because of my best friend. I took that seriously because they're my family too. I think Anne is like the sister that I've never had but she, I can't even say that because she's my sister.
Anne is my sister. The relationship that we have especially as adults is something super meaningful to me that it's extended to Elle. The most fortunate thing for me, that's why I take care of Elle very very much as much as I could, is that I met Anne when we were, she was five, I was six, something like that. And now we're in our mid-40s seeing and meeting Anne at that young age again.
Through Elle, her mini-me, me as an adult and seeing Anne as a kid when we were growing up, it's such... I don't know how to explain it. It's such a profound experience that you could ever have that I get a second chance to meet Anne at a young age again. My playmate, my classmate, my best friend.
So Elle is like that to me and at the same time she's the child of my sister. So, and she's a great mom, actually Anne and Riens, they're great parents. And I wanted to contribute there because they're really putting very, very good foundation with Elle and now also with their second child. You know, I admire them being parents. And since I have this love and care and access for them,
then I could do my best for Elle and in extension with Enzo that I'm able to become the best godparent that I could be. I can't wait for these children to grow up as beautiful people. This is why I'm trying to wrap my head around this role because I feel like I'm beginning to have more involvement with Elle growing up, with the significant
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (23:57.652)
milestones in her life like her first communion. I can't be there but we've chosen her first communion dressed together on facetime and things like that. I was like, wow okay I may be childless but I have this god children. I have my friends children even though they were not officially blessed as godparents but it's such a wonderful thing to be trusted.
upon a responsibility that's also, I'm sure, it's hard to ask from the parents sometimes. I don't know if I'm making sense. I'm going around and around. I'm just having this very profound moment thinking about this kind of role I feel entitled and privileged to have this moment of understanding and enlightenment about the role of a lifetime.
I'm sure the role of a lifetime for a lot of people will be being parents, but I think for me being childless, the role of a lifetime is multifaceted. think roles of my lifetime would be being a good godmother and being a good camp mother and just being a contributor to the society in different ways. And if I could pass along
good values and ethics and the value of hard work to my godchildren then probably I won. I won in life. So yes and you know I also have a godchild. Her name is Eleanor. I only see her at least once or twice a year. This girl is full of life and full of promises and she's got such a bright and sunshiny personality.
We may be distant but whenever we see each other it's always quality. I really feel ultra connected. And we don't really talk a lot with each other but you know that there's always this deep love and respect that I have for this family and my godchild is such a massive plus. I always treasure that feeling when they ask us to become a godparent for Eleanor. It's like wow.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (26:18.982)
of all people, like, they've chosen us. It's like an award. You get to be chosen to have this role and it's so meaningful. Number one there is really, they trust you that if they're not around that you're able to fill in that role that they ever so lovingly do for their children. again, it's not easy to become a parent. It's not.
sunshines and roses. It's a lot of energy and lot of mentality and a lot of you is being given to those children. Yeah, it's just that. You know how I grew up and how I see it before and how I see it now. It's just wonderful that you still see yourself grow. That you still see that all the more that you grow, all the more you don't know anything and you're still learning, which is such a beautiful thing.
So I always go back to that. I just wanted to share this with you and I hope you picked up something on my babbling over here. But let me ask you back, how are you reflecting with the meaning of being a godparent or being a godchild? How do you see this now? Does this matter to you at all? Please comment.
I would love to hear from you and I would love to see different perspectives. Until next time, ciao.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (28:02.222)
Comment, like, subscribe, and share wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also visit humanthesaurus.co. That's where all my show notes are, my profile, and everything else. You can listen there as well. Epitome Anatomy is produced by me and Jeremiah Ronquillo. Music by Ketsa UK. All rights reserved via Wishbliz Media. Thank you and see you in the next episode!
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