Epitome Anatomy: VICTIMHOOD
EPISODE SUMMARY:
"Never push a kind person until they don't give a fuck because kind people, they would give and give, but one day they will wake up, they're done with you."
Your host, Wish, delves into the complexities of victimhood, exploring how it manifests in relationships and the impact of entitlement on personal connections. He shares personal anecdotes and insights on the importance of accountability, the cycle of generosity, and the heartache that comes from helping those who refuse to take responsibility for their actions. The conversation encourages listeners to reflect on their experiences with victim mentality and the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries.
Listen to the Episode
MAIN TOPICS:
00:00 The Art of Keeping Secrets
02:49 Understanding Victimhood
05:40 The Cycle of Generosity and Entitlement
09:00 The Impact of Victim Mentality on Relationships
11:51 Navigating the Heartache of Helping Others
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Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (00:00.01)
You know what? I've been inundated with teas everywhere. In the past few weeks, I've been getting lot of gossips from a lot of people from different places and different friendships. The thing about me is that I'm not a spiller. I'm not a tea spiller because the key to be getting teas from everywhere is that you're a good tea keeper and you're a good listener.
The thing is I have to keep it to myself most of the time and that's quite difficult. Actually not really that difficult when you have that mindset. It's like, okay, I need that trust so that I could get more tea. it's a very good, what do call this? It's a very good price to being, to keeping quiet about other people's lives, right? The general theme of these teas are about dramatic fallouts.
Mostly, I've been in some of these too, some of these experiences. So let's set these narcissistic tendencies of people without accountability. Welcome to Human Thesaurus Presents Epitome Anatomy. My name is Wish and I talk about something, somehow, to dissect a word relevant from my life to yours. Ready for the epitome of VICTIMHOOD? Let's go!
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (01:45.358)
Our keyword is victimhood. The condition of having been hurt, damaged, or made to suffer. Especially when you want people to feel sorry for you because of this or use it as an excuse for something. According to the petty but accurate description of the Cambridge Dictionary online.
Other words associated with a victimhood angle that I'm discussing are martyr complex, sufferer, self-pity, drama queen.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (02:28.246)
I can't begin to imagine everybody who's been victimised by our saints of perpetual victimhood, brothers and sisters out there. It's hard to comprehend this kind of mindset when you're accountable, when you're having this mindset of accountability for yourself, like everything that happens in your life.
They happen and they're mostly a ripple effect of something that is created by yourself, which is always a choice. I think in life, there are choices and it's so good to have that free will to choose that path. I'm not saying that when you choose, that's the right one. What I mean is that when you choose, that means you have the liberty to proceed with that choice.
And if it's wrong, then you take another path. You take accountability. You say, I'm such an idiot. Okay. Let me correct that. That's maturity on its own, I suppose. Well, let's focus on the pettiness of the opposite of that, which is the main topic, which is victimhood. I think I wanted to talk about this as the next topic. I think we will have a series of rantings about this. The past few weeks, I've been a listening ear and quite opinionated about this because I could relate really dealing with people who bite the hands that feed them, the people that you help them so much with so much love, care, generosity. You don't ask for anything in return mostly when it comes to these charities because these are made out of love and out of respect and Out of goodwill, seriously, goodwill is a good word too. And then when everything fails, they're not grateful at all. They either A, they want more from you, they're entitled to want more from you, that's what they feel. They have all the rights to dip in your own finances without thinking of their accountability, what went down and B, that's it.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (04:48.49)
no accountability that they fucked up. That it's their mistake or wherever they ended up with is their own choice. And they're the only ones who could correct it but no, they wouldn't. They would rather blame somebody else. pity me, everybody's against me. I'm such a victim. Everybody is just oppressing me. Nobody understands me. my god.
You can hear my exasperation. I've been through this so many times by the same people that in the end, a favorite quote of mine that I picked up somewhere in social media a long time ago, pardon my French, it says, never push a kind person until they don't give a fuck because kind people, they would give and give, but one day they will wake up, they're done with you.
No questions asked, no forgiveness, nothing. They will just have to move on and forget about you. And that's for real. I know that. I've done that a lot. But it took me years. It will always take me years because a part of me is always hopeful. A part of me always believes in people. A part of me always have faith that things will become better, that other people will
come to realize their mistakes and are able to correct them. I don't know, I always go into that cycle. I used to be cynical at some point in my life. At first, I was so naive and gullible, and then everything got destroyed about me that it made me so cynical. And then my face now is about this nonchalance and just this graceful existence that I accept that not everything is in my control. I could choose the way I react that a lot of things that's happening are not about me. That I'm not always the main character. And that really eased me of all of these tensions when it comes to dealing with our perpetual people of victimhood.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (07:13.41)
You know what's hard about these self-pity victims is their righteousness. I don't know where that ego and righteousness are coming from. They're the ones who's begging for help. You help them and then they keep on making the same mistakes for themselves. They don't better themselves because of that help rather than they feel that they're entitled to have that padding of help that will be perpetual and then your generosity at some point you you think my gosh nothing is changing i'm doing this to help them get their head straight or get their lives better but they're still in the same cycle and then you cut the cord you cut you know you turn off the faucet whatever means you're helping them financially emotionally mentally whatever and then you turn all of that help off They're even the ones who's angry at you. They're even the ones who has to say about your character. And then they tell everyone how bad you were. In its simplicity, I would just say it's crazy. It's crazy to think that there are lots of people like this. No wonder that relationships get fractured. So fractured that I don't know if they're even to the point of irreparable and it's just, I don't know, it's so delusional in some ways. And it hurts my heart because you think better of these people, you think that they could do better, you think that they have so much potential that they don't see for themselves. But I think they're so blinded by their self-love in a very skewed manner. They don't see anything wrong with them. When there's something wrong with the victim's lives, when there's something wrong with everything around them, they blame everything around them, but not themselves. And they're always the same. It's always this identity that they impose for themselves. It's so hard to see that.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (09:35.596)
It's so difficult when you're watching this, like a slow train wreck, you see them that they're going on and on about the same mistake. When one day you wake up as if, you know, all of your love and protection from anything malicious that you would think of this person, when everything, you see the truth and then you're like so manipulated because you were so generous and kind, it's kind of hard to swallow sometimes. The plus thing about being on this side of the coin, of being the giver, of being the ones who got harmed by these victim players, is that your conscience is so clear. You've done your best. You've helped enough. If other people believe any stories that were against you, it's on them.
It's not on you. You know the real story. Because the real people around you who would know you better would know that you didn't do any of these things that the victims would have said against you when the going gets tough on them, when you stop caring or you disconnect them from your life. It doesn't matter what other people think about you. Who cares? They're not feeding you, they're not paying your rent. They don't have a say in your
You don't owe them anything. Instead, you owe yourself that dignity that you've done your best for these people who's got no accountability. It's really hard to swallow when you see this all the time around you. Everything is all about, do you even know what happened to me? How dare you say that to me?
Everything that happened to me is because of this and X and Y and Z. No accountability, nothing. And they all forget that kindness that was bestowed upon them. And not everybody in this world are even able to taste and feel compassion from other people. There are lots of cruelty out there and there's no gratefulness. think this what ticks me off when it comes to
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (11:58.69)
these kind of people. They are not grateful. They're disingenuous. There's so many things in this life if someone, someone in your life would help you in different ways. That's a lot. That's a lot of gratefulness that you can give in this world already. You're already lucky that someone cares about you. But again...
They don't see it this way. It's, gosh, seriously. Endless blame. They keep score. When everything goes down, they would keep score of what they've done for you. That is one of the lowest of the low that they could do. When they're trapped, when you leave them, when you abandon them in the end because they're hopeless.
They tell you every single thing. They keep score of every single thing that they've done for you. And they forget what you've done for them, which would probably be 10 folds than what list they have. When you give kindness and generosity to other people, when going get stuff, when you have arguments, it's so low. It's so bad if you keep score for each other.
Okay, so why did you do that in the first place? Because what? For you to be righteous about it? For you to have something to brag about? Or for you to blackmail that person in return? That's not generosity at all. When you're doing an act of charity, you don't think of anything in return, but just kindness. Kindness back or for me, like when I impose, impose? Wow. imposing generosity. No, sorry, that's the wrong word. So when I give my piece of me, a piece of, you know, of me doing charity, when I help people, I don't think of anything else. For me, it already creates dopamine. It makes me feel nice that I am able to do that. It's an entitlement on its own, being generous, being able to help other people.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (14:17.37)
What? What's hard about being grateful? I'm not saying that, ugh. Or probably some people would say, ugh, you're only saying that because, you know, you got stuff. No, I've been through hell and back. I will say that again. I think you will hear me from time to time saying that. I think that's why I'm extremely grateful because I'm still alive, recounting my past sometimes I would think how come I'm still alive after all of that it's so there's a lot to be grateful for going back to keeping score if you keep score or if you keep tabs with the things that you're doing for the other person that means it's either it's transactional or you're being manipulative or narcissistic really Because why do you have to do that? Unless it's a literal debt in the bank. The saddest part dealing with perpetual victims would be the heartache it brings. It hurts. It hurts not because you're taken advantage of. It hurts because it breaks relationships. It breaks friendships. It breaks families. It just destroys something. It destroys humanity. my gosh, I could go on and on. This may be I'm rambling on, but it is one of the points of this podcast now I'm able to share with you. So yes, lots of the tees that I've got right now are all about destroying relationship because of one main character. They think they're the main character. They think everything evolves around them and they don't care about what the repercussions are for other people because of their actions. Not good. It's just irritating. It's heartbreaking. It's really, really annoying. So I will leave it there. How can you relate with this victimhood? Have you ever had to deal with anybody like this? What's your story?
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (16:41.378)
You can share your experiences with me and let's have a therapeutic moment together. Until next time, ciao.
Wish Ronquillo Peacocke (16:58.062)
Human Thesaurus Podcast is produced by me and Jeremiah Ronquillo. All rights reserved via Wishblizz Media.
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